She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
he laminated a picture of his dick.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
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