I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
My breath smells like gin and sadness
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