I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
