After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Randomize
