we have pet lesbian snakes
I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
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