Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Randomize
