yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
