There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
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