Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
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