i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Randomize
