You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
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