no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
I look better un-naked...
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
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