nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
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