so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
Randomize
