We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
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