i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Randomize
