i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
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