I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Randomize