Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
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