we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Randomize
