Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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