why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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