Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize
