If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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