dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
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I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
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I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
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