Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Randomize
