We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Randomize
