At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
Every concussion has its silver lining
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize