If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
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