this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
