I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
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