the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
25 Facts Men Don’t Know About Women Until They Live Together
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee