I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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