Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
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I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
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EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
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