I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
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