I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
Did you just see the Batmobile???
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
