i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Randomize
