Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize