so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
