your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
2020 sucks, I want a refund
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize