My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize