You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
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