dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
Houston, we have a squirter
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
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