Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
