Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
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What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
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I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.