I showed him my bush... on skype.
He kissed a someone with a penis
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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