Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
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