We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
