I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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