and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
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