There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
Randomize
