i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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