i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
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