Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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