Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
Randomize
