1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize