Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Randomize
